Too many times I have heard women say "I'll just do whatever the doctor tells me." I have been shut down by a woman in labour screaming this very phrase, despite the doctor straying completely from established guidelines - end result, caesarean with massive complications that almost resulted in a dead mother. With all my training and knowledge and instinct screaming at me that this course of action was wrong, being a professional, I had to listen to the woman and follow her wishes. While I understand the thinking that the doctor has all the training and experience, what the doctor does not know is YOU. They do not know your individual body. They do not know your instincts. Yet so many women just give up their autonomous adult status when it comes to maternity care. This makes no sense!
Women are autonomous adults, capable of making their own decisions. We know our bodies! We are the ones carrying that precious baby 24/7, and know what's normal for our baby and when things don't feel right. It is a health professionals job to advise options, and the risks and benefits of each, so their client can make their own decision. The woman should be her own lead carer, and she should decide which models of care suit her, her baby and her family. There is a HUGE body of evidence supporting woman-centred care. In my opinion, it is the ultimate goal of good maternity care. So why is it so inaccessible? It's not money, because all the evidence states that midwife-led care is cheaper, both short and long term.
Patriarchy. The entire medical system is based on a patriarchal model, where initially only men could be doctors and women (nurses) were handmaidens. The doctor was God, basically. It's the same reason that women's medical conditions are often ignored, and women's pain dismissed. The same reason that removal of the uterus is called "hysterectomy" - women are prone to hysterics and removal of her female organs will fix that. Imagine if we started doing that to men! Society is overmedicalised as a whole, but maternity care has to be the very worst. We have moved on somewhat from the doctor/handmaiden situation, but the system still runs on the patriarchal hierarchy that it was founded on.
But do women perpetuate this? We are socialised to the patriarchy, and often defend it. What is it that causes women to just give in to someone else's wishes, even when it doesn't feel right? I often hear women say things like "the doctor won't let me" as if they are children that require permission for everything. They allow the doctor to make the decisions. They spout the rhetoric that a healthy baby is all that matters. And if they refuse what the doctor says, they are ridiculed and coerced, often with the dead baby speech. And that's if they even realise that they can refuse! Many times I have had women tell me that they are unsure about an intervention, and when I tell them that they can decline, or ask for further information, they look at me with such bewilderment! Women are not afforded the right to informed consent. If you even mention the term "birth experience" you are branded selfish and risking your baby's life - mostly by OTHER WOMEN. But the evidence shows that the much-maligned birth experience actually makes birth safer.
Women spend our entire lives being told what to do with our bodies. Fashion choices, personal grooming regimens, what size we should be, etc etc. Girls are socialised to wear pink, be "good girls" and do what they are told. Pregnancy brings a whole new list of "rules" to abide by. Our biological functions have been reduced to a set of policies and procedures endorsed by the "system" that recognises only specific ideas of femininity and masculinity. Maternity care has become a production line. We are ignored, coerced, disrespected and humiliated in the name of "morality" and "safety," when the evidence says otherwise. The science is ignored to make way for fear mongering and control.
This will only end when we stand up and make it end. Women are the guardians of birth, not doctors. We need to say enough is enough. A healthy baby is not all that matters. No woman would ever knowingly risk her baby's life! We are the guardian of our baby, it grows inside us, but this does not make a woman an empty vessel for the purpose of a healthy baby. She is still a woman, with the right to make her own decisions with all the information given to her in a non biased fashion. Do we just give up if someone told us we were "not allowed" to get our driver's license because we might have an accident one day? No! Women need to stand up and take back our birthing rights. We need to demand the respect we deserve. We need to demand transparency and accountability in the care we receive. We need to be heard when we suffer birth trauma, listened to without fear of ridicule.
Women are not inferior. Our bodies are not defective. We need to stand together to fight the violations to our autonomy that continue to harm women. And we need to start with ourselves, for it is women that perpetuate the standard of care that we accept.
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