Birth Trauma and Debrief Service

 Select Midwifery offers a birth trauma and debriefing service for women everywhere. These sessions are run via Zoom, at a time that's convenient for you.

Please note that these are not counselling sessions, although we do offer referrals to counselling services. 

If you feel that your birth impacted you, your baby or your partner negatively, if it left you wondering what happened, if you feel that you need to talk about it, then please get in touch for a debrief.

What we offer is a frank and open discussion with an experienced midwife, focussed around your birth experience. After a few initial questions, you lead the discussion, focussing on the issues that are important to you. We offer unbiased support and feedback, and assist you to work through your experience in your own time. In many cases, we can offer general midwifery advice and suggestions that might assist you in your recovery. Please feel free to compile some questions and concerns that you would like to discuss - this session is all about you! Partners and support people are most welcome too, and we value their input as an important part of your journey to motherhood.

The fee for a one-hour session is $55.00 (AUD).

Unfortunately this service does not attract Medicare rebates and fees must be paid prior to your session. If this is difficult for you, please let us know and we can work something out. If you are outside Australia, you will still receive an invoice in AUD. 

Most women find it beneficial to request their medical records prior to their debrief session. This gives a better picture of the clinical picture during the labour and birth. Records allow the midwife to explore and explain anything which you may find confusing or do not understand about your experience. However, this is not essential, especially if you may find it distressing to read your records. You can request your medical records from the health service where you were admitted.

Email us at selectmidwifery@gmail.com to book in. We will send you a short form to complete and then schedule a time that suits you.

Men at Birth - yay or nay?

Note: this piece is about heterosexual couples - birthing woman with male partner. Please feel free to share experiences if you are not heterosexual! I would love to hear from you, so I can better understand your experiences of birthing and maternity care.

Birth is women's business. Some women, most women in Western culture, want their partner there to support them. My experience has been that the men have mixed feelings about it.

Some men are fantastic supporters for their partner, others try hard but turn out to be annoying, and some I just want to throw out of the birthing room 😀 A lot of men clearly do not want to be there - sitting in a corner, watching tv, talking on or playing with their phone, and generally being a distraction. Dad jokes are the worst - seriously guys, don't try to be funny while your partner is in labour, it's really not helpful.

It was not too many years ago that men were not allowed to be present, at all. Like my own dad, who was promptly told to go to work and he would be called at the appropriate time. This isn't the answer either!

I particularly take offence to the statements I often hear from women, along the lines of "he put it in there, he can damn well be there to get it out." How disrespectful! Surely this is a decision best made as a couple, with frank and open communication both ways. Birth is such a profound experience for all involved and birth support is an important part of it. Birth support needs to be the right fit - nobody should feel obligated or coerced into something they don't want to do.

I'm also on the fence about men being on postnatal wards overnight. Surely women can have this one safe space? It really won't affect bonding if dad's not there the first night or two. If you want dad around, why not do early discharge instead? Bonding with baby is best done in your own safe space at home, not in a busy hospital ward with its bright lights and constant activity. Many hospitals offer home midwifery services, or you can find yourself a private midwife to visit you at home for checkups and support. Postnatal doulas are also fantastic!

There may be women on the ward who have suffered abuse and don't want strange men around. Women are very vulnerable in those first hours and days. It's not appropriate to have men unknown to them in close proximity when they have just given birth and are bleeding, trying to breastfeed and get through the night without giving in to the waves of emotions that happen after birth.

Guys, I'm not excluding you. But women need this safe space. Lots of women are okay with men being in their space, but many are not. It's these extremely vulnerable women that we need to support, respect and protect. If you do stay on the postnatal ward, please be respectful of others, and remember that they may not be comfortable with you being there.