Following on from my clickbait post, I was reading another blog today, written by a woman who suffered birth trauma, and severe PTSD. She was still struggling 4 years down the track.
Cue the ill-informed comments. I couldn't count the times I saw "you got a healthy baby, that's all that matters" or "get over it/suck it up." None of this helps, in fact it makes women feel worse because they then think there is something wrong with how they feel.
Then there were the women saying that they went through a similar experience and are fine. Well, that's good, for them. But remember, your experience is YOUR experience, not hers. YOU WERE NOT THERE. You have no right to assume that because you are happy with how your birth turned out, another woman should feel the same. She is not you.
And then there are the "so many women can't even have a baby and you're complaining about your birth not going to plan" comments. IRRELEVANT. Infertility and birth trauma have nothing to do with each other. Invalidating a woman's experience because you think she should be grateful that she got a baby is wrong, and does not help the situation. Both are equally valid situations, that can and do cause distress.
Psychological injury is as real as physical injury. It can debilitate a woman, to the point where she struggles to look after her baby. I find it particularly sad that the woman above was still having a rough time 4 years later. It is deplorable that she felt so isolated and judged that she could not seek support from other women - but I can see why. The internet has a lot to answer for, I believe. So many poorly informed and judgemental voices, hiding behind the security of keyboard anonymity. We would be better off supporting women through whatever rough stuff comes their way. It's amazing just how much a simple listening ear will help.
